yelp, i love to hate you

14 May

when yelp first launched, i was really excited to have a useful website on restaurants. six years later, this website is now full of d-bags and dumb b*tches that don’t know anything about food. i will never say i know everything about food but i also know when i read total bullsh*t. and yelpers take pride in rating and sometimes bashing restaurants. inspired by reegsta’s post about dumbo ebay buyers, i’ve compiled some yelp reviewers that are just plain stupid

Helen V. “Eh the tuna sashimi was okay. Did not live completely up to my standards. The soy sauce tasted a bit weird to me…And what place doesn’t have spicy mayo? 😦 apparently this one doesn’t….”
Um, Helen, news flash : spicy mayo is NOT japanese. I’m not japanese but i know that real japanese restaurants would slap you in the face if you asked for spicy mayo.

Nathan E. “I notice my water glass has lipstick marks; I’m FREAKED OUT! It was pink. NOBODY in our party was wearing lipstick. I know I didn’t mix glasses with the guy across from me! THIS IS DISGUSTING!! I remained cool as I quietly placed the glass on the adjacent table and proceeded to mentally begin planning my Yelp review! I hope this was an isolated and accidental incident. But in my mind, I was targeted!”
wow, mentally preparing your yelp review after getting a water glass with lipstick (GASP!). you sound like a woman. try to avoid all Chinese restaurants since lipstick on your cup is the least of your worries.

CeCe C. “Sitting at the small counter and watching these old ladies yell at each other in their native languages made my blood pressure go up! Watch out for Albert Einstein-haired lady, she likes to yell a lot! O_O I guess many of the other customers found it quite entertaining and just laughed in amusement.”
CeCe sounds like a poo poo head. i don’t know, if you hear someone speaking in their native language, maybe it’s a sign that the food you are consuming is authentic. asians are loud – learn to live with it if plan on living in the bay area.

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One Response to “yelp, i love to hate you”

  1. Nick May 15, 2010 at 12:58 am #

    i totally want to eat at this place after reading those reviews!!

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